To whom do I write the thank you card?

25 11 2010

As tough as things have been for most of us these past few years (we’re definitely included in this), I feel that I have so much for which to be grateful this Thanksgiving and now just need to know to whom I write the thank you card?

Between finally getting out of dreary and “frosty” Seattle, thanks to Keith (my incredibly creative and talented husband) landing an amazing opportunity at what we’re pretty certain is his dream interactive agency in San Francisco, and a healthy and happy enough circle of family and friends, I thought I had been blessed enough. However, by seriously shaking things up in our lives and shifting the energy around this year, it appears the universe is now directing some of that famous California sunshine on the many seeds I’ve planted these past few years.

So, why do I want to share some of what I have to be grateful for today? Well, beside it being Thanksgiving, and simply wanting to share my excitement over recent events, I think it is worth explaining that the type of content creation, publicity and media exposure I share below demonstrates what I can also do for my clients. It took plenty of hard, smart and efficient work, and a little bit of good fortune, but it was mainly strategy, tactics and persistent follow-up that made most of what I share below happen.

I'm at a networking event--Now What??? by Sandy Jones-KaminskiSome of the most significant sprouting is around my writing and content creation in the form of  the little seedling that is my book, “I’m at a Networking Event–Now What???” I’d say this little sprout is well on its way to becoming a nice sturdy plant and I have my incredible network of friends, family, contacts, colleagues and fans for helping me get the word out and consistently supporting my efforts in promoting my networking manifesto.  Plus, doing a few 12 Rules of Effective Networking webinars for some non-profits has brought me more good karma than I ever could have imagined and has enabled me to reach way more people than the number of folks that have attended my PIF (pay it forward) Parties to date.  I’ve seen the direct correlation between those webinars and the opportunities that have recently come my way, as well as the new Facebook fans, Twitter followers, Bella Domain Networking group members on LinkedIn, email/blog subscribers and more.

Earlier this year, I was also fortunate enough to get selected as a columnist for where recently my third article for my Networking is Connecting column was recently picked up by (of all places).  Then, within a few days of that happening, and thanks to a Google alert, I found out that my book was in the #1 spot on the 2010 Holiday Gift Guide for business books! Whah?? Such a gift! And with any luck, I’ll soon get to break-even with my publisher, Mitchell Levy of Happy About!

(Soon after the above we noticed that my book was finally ranked less than 100K on Amazon again and was ranked #44,867! It had been in the coveted less-than-100K rank soon after it was released, about a year ago this month.)

Lastly, after spotting the recognition, and a few days of jumping up and down with excitement, yesterday, I learned (thanks to another Google alert) that, most likely due to all the activity around these things, I was the featured columnist on the home page (see below)! Sweet!

Now, to whom do you think I should write the thank you card?? Kind of a hard call isn’t it? 😉 Happy Thanksgiving all and please let me know if there is anything I can help YOU be thankful for by next Turkey Day!

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My first Black Friday ad?

28 11 2009

Thanks to Geoff Tucker for shooting the video, then writing and coming up with the initial visual concept for an ad, Keith (Kaminski) for taking the concept and running with it (hell yeah!), and then, of course, Marc Erickson for participating and giving us full usage clearance. You guys ROCK! xo

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Way to Pay It Forward People!

23 11 2009

What a way to Pay It Forward people! Over 80 positive karma creators showed up at The Local Vine Thursday night to contribute to the network effect created when a group of well-intentioned people gather to create some good karma and actually offer help to each other first.

I owe some serious gratitude to Karin Zabel, the new head of the networking team at the PSAMA (she took over for me in Aug), for being the brain child behind combing the forces of PIF Parties with the reach of the Seattle-area American Marketing Association. Thanks again Karin! I’ll definitely be on the lookout for other opportunities to co-host similar PIF-style events during the months to come.Sunflower Cupcakes courtesy of Bella Domain

And, while we did manage to sell a few copies of my new book (I’m at a Networking Event–Now What???), the real “win” of the evening was hearing the constant hum of the group learning what other people were working on and what kind of help they needed right now.

All I can think is, what a great way to go into the Thanksgiving holiday weekend, and even found these Seven Tips for Networking Through the Holidays from Keith Ferrazzi as a great reminder for us all. Happy Turkey Day!! 🙂

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It’s not you, it’s them

10 11 2009

I just received confirmation that my first “real” book is NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON, so I felt it appropriate to commemorate the occasion with a blog post that explains why I wrote the book in the first place.

The first copy of "I'm at a Networking Event--Now What???" by Sandy Jones-Kaminski of Bella Domain, LLC

The 1st copy of "I'm at a Networking Event--Now What???"

Also, since I’ve started having to explain what my new book is about to total strangers (airplane seatmates, wedding table mates, and so far 1 press person – OMG!) I’ve become acutely aware of exactly what it is about the book that initially appeals to the folks that don’t know me or what I refer to as my “How do you not know this?” corner of the world. So, I thought I’d share a few of the questions I’ve been asked and how I answered them.

Stranger:  So, what’s your book about?

Me:  Well, the title is, “I’m at a Networking Event—Now What???” (I usually then pause and wait for the giggling to subside). It’s a practical guide to getting the most out of any networking event, and if you read it you’ll feel like you spent some time with a fairly entertaining, tell-it-like-it-is networking coach.

Stranger: What made you want to write a book about networking?

Me:  There were 2 things:

1)   I was tired of all the bad behavior I was encountering at the majority of the networking events I’d been attending and I also wanted to help the folks in the 80% group of the Pareto Principle out there that just don’t seem to be fans of the activity. I’ve found that besides some of them being shy, most usually aren’t fans as a result of having been on the receiving end of some of the aforementioned bad behavior such as watching someone scan the nametags of others while they’re supposedly listening to you, and

2)   Then, there’s the fairly well-documented phenomenon in the Seattle area called the “Seattle Freeze” (you can Google this) which relates to the arms-length-only friendliness of the Puget Sound area in general, and the lack of genuine welcome many new settlers to the area often experience.

Both factors motivated me to start hosting what I started calling Pay It Forward (PIF) Parties, and then I wrote a few white papers earlier this year on my “12 Rules of Networking.”

The response to the above generated lots of interest (1200+ downloads of my white paper), as well as the encouragement to write a book, and that gets us back to where I started.  As I was working on the book, I was always on the lookout for supporting evidence for my own theories and beliefs about networking best practices, and while I liked to think of them as rules (as in etiquette), I kept finding proof that they’re also the most effective.

For instance, one of the studies I site in the book comes from the folks at Upwardly Mobile Inc. and the Graziadio School of Business Management at Pepperdine University. They conducted a study on the habits of what they call, “elite networkers” and their behaviors as they relate to networking in general.

Finding worth sharing #1: 70% of executives credit networking as THE activity that leads to career opportunities, and 75% of study respondents said they spend fewer than two hours each week directly managing their networks. Bottom line: If done right, you can spend a manageable amount of time on it.

Have you actually developed reciprocal and quality relationships with your contacts? Can you count on them when you need a favor? Do they know that you’re there for them when they need the favor? These are the key questions most elite networkers can answer positively.

Finding worth sharing #2: Not surprisingly, the study notes that most people approach networking fairly ineffectively. They focus on quantity of contacts instead of the most important factor—the depth of the relationship (or my interpretation – trust between the 2 parties a.k.a. good social capital[1]).

I’ve noticed loads written about whether people will recommend you or not as the ideal measure, and while that matters if your only goal for networking is getting more leads (whether they be job or biz/sales related), I believe that good social capital should be the real goal. I strive to cultivate quality relationships that often turn into friendships where a natural by-product is that I know when/if I need some help or a favor I can unhesitatingly reach out and ask for what it is I need, actually receive it directly or indirectly, and then work to make certain that others know they can count on the same from me.

But back to the idea that “It’s not you, it’s them.” I also wrote my book because I wanted to encourage reluctant networkers to recognize that it’s not their fault that the person scanning the other nametags is doing so. You’re not boring — they’re just RUDE! And, I believe that we can help rehabilitate these people at the networking events we attend by “flipping the script,” and instead of being passive and waiting for someone to ask what brought you to the event, so that you can launch into what probably feels like a canned elevator pitch you may have even paid some coach to develop for you, you can act as if you’re walking into a gathering of your closest friends, and simply beat the other person to the punch and ask them what they’re working on these days and whether they need help with anything in their life right now. The idea is that by setting the example of showing genuine interest, and potential assistance, the recipient will hopefully follow your lead and respond in kind so you can actually have a meaningful conversation. And, if they don’t, you’ve just learned that you should save yourself a whole bunch of time, follow-up and trouble, and politely move on.

pif_logo1Based on my own experience, many of the Google alerts I’ve been reading, and the popularity of the PIF Parties I’ve hosted or attended, offering help to others first appears to be an approach that’s really starting to catch on. Hopefully, my book will provide the encouragement to get folks confidently back out there, and maybe I’ll get to meet them at an event soon because, quite frankly, I’m a little tired of running into most of the same usual suspects (a.k.a the 20%) at the networking events I attend. 😉 I welcome the opportunity to meet some new people in the New Year!

[1] Social capital is defined as the resources such as information, ideas or support that individuals are able to procure by virtue of their relationships with other people. The uniqueness of social capital is that it is relational…it only exists when it is SHARED.


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Be the change…

12 06 2009

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” I keep thinking about this great quote from Mahatma Ghandi because of the unexpected, but definitely welcome,  attention my on hiatus Pay It Forward (PIF) parties have received this past week.pif_logo1

Like many of you, I typically see Ghandi’s brilliant piece of wisdom in email signatures or on Facebook pages at least once a week. And, while I couldn’t agree with it more, I realize that it’s sometimes much easier to complain than effect a change.  What I recognized in the now two instances of interest in PIF parties, however, was the overwhelming desire to do things a little differently in the networking arena and these people actually doing something about it.

One woman in NJ reached out because she is “in transition” (btw, wish we could all agree that this euphemism for “looking for your next thing” is a dated term and should probably disappear from job search vernacular), and wanted to find a creative way to get access to my How to Have a PIF Party book without spending any serious cash.  Her intention is to host a few of her own PIF parties, and her creative, but not doable “ask” motivated me to be very pay-it-forward minded and suggest a compromise. She’s now sending me a check for just the shipping and handling and I’m happily sending her a slightly less-than-perfect proof copy of the booklet.

The other instance came from a woman that I was introduced to through a mutual contact. When we met over coffee a few weeks ago it turned out she had purchased the booklet already (thank you Melissa!), and wanted to pick my brain about hosting her own PIF party. Well, I willingly obliged and she just sent me an invite to the PIF mixer she’s hosting on Seattle’s eastside later this month for a whole bunch of her contacts. Sweet!

BTW, this activity points to success as I’d define it regarding my experiment with hosting PIF parties at the end of ’07 and throughout ’08.  My hope was that I’d ultimately receive an invitation to at least one other PIF party hosted by someone following my example, and better late than never, right? 🙂

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PIFing in book form

5 10 2008

Because I wrote a description of Bella Domain’s PIF Parties for my friend Andrea, and she then included it in her new book “Power Referrals,” I knew I had to come up with a really good way to pay it forward. (Note: with my blessing, she also wrote about the concept of social capital, but in her book she referred to it as “social currency.” If you check out the book, please do let me know what you think of her spin on it.)

I also knew it would be wise to leverage the mention and exposure for Bella Domain and me. The answer came in the form of a fund-raising book titled “How to Have a PIF Party.” And, because this month (October) is Breast Cancer Awareness month, a portion of net profits from sales of this book will be going to Breast Cancer education & advocacy via Breast Cancer Action (

For those that are curious, I was able to self-publish the book, thanks to photographic & graphic design help from my awesome hubby Keith, and by utilizing software from I really wish I could recommend their software, but I just can’t because it crashed at least once almost every time I used it for longer than a half hour. It was painful.

As of this writing, I’ve sold 3 books, which translates to about $3.00 towards a donation to BCA. Maybe you can start a new “pay it forward” by helping me get the word out about my “How to Have a PIF Party” book? I’m really hoping to send along a slightly larger check. 🙂 Thank you!

P.S. You can use the Preview feature on Blurb to take a sneak peek and then please place an order if you’re so inclined…

UPDATE:  a great article and related link on supporting those diagnosed with cancer.

Seattle Freeze stuff

1 04 2008

Before we even moved to Seattle back in Nov of 2005, a few people in Chicago asked me about the subject of the Seattle Freeze, and since I’ve lived here, loads of the folks I meet still do. They usually ask about my personal experience with it, so I have decided to share the following email from a new friend and concerned long-time Seattleite.

She was right….I found these articles and comments very interesting indeed, and am now sending these links out the same way I occasionally send out the link to the Business 2.0 article about LinkedIn from Feb 07 that mentions (or I should say cautions against) promiscuous linking/linkers. Please feel free to share these with some of the baffled people you encounter as well. Anti-freezers unite!

Here is the link to the story on Seattle (N)ice that I was mentioning. My old neighbor was Jodi O’Brien from Seattle U, quoted in the article. You are right that the best and correct phrase is Seattle freeze…I guess I have been saying ice because I remembered the title of the article. Anyway, here it is – this is from the Seattle Times / Pacific Magazine in Feb. 2005.

Here also are some reader reactions to the story, and another (older) story in the same vein. Just thought these were interesting and wanted to pass them along.


Also received this link to a YouTube video on the topic.  Is it all attributable to the “season(al) affective disorder” or tech culture dominance? You decide. Then I stumbled upon this freeze mention from the editor at Xconomy Seattle last summer.  I wonder if he’ll have more to say on the freeze topic come this July?

Another update from 2010: Oh, its real all right!